Introduction

    For everything I will probably mention through my posting here it will help you to know that I'm demented. People might find my thoughts disturbing but they sure as hell entertain me. I love to sleep so if I'm not on here, playing World Of Warcraft or sleeping at school, I'm asleep here in my room. I have a beat friend who've I've known since the second grade. Her name is Madison and she is one of three most awesomest people in my world. The others are my boyfriend, Zack, who've I've been with for a year, and one of the most coolest person you'll ever meet is Cory. I talk about myself a lot. But I'm not concieded. I don't like myself very much at all. And there are more then enough reasons I have for that. I like being called Shay on the internet, but if you meet me for real just call me Miranda.
    So anyways, on to the blogging. I have an eight year old brother, Ryan, Whose discovered sex way before he should have. He flipped to my mother and fathers porn one night I guess and that's how he got the mental part of it. It's funny to watch him learn new stuff so different then I did. Sometimes I think that my family seriously fucked up raiseing me. I'm beginning to rethink that. Maybe they did a perfect job with raiseing me. Besides the whole depression thing.
    It's almost been a year since I was in the hospital in Loma Linda for a week. In alot of ways I thought it was fun and I figured out how much I learned about myself that even then I didn't realise I learned anything at all besides that there really is crazy people there. Mostly I miss the staff, they were really cool. And also this one guy I started crushing on. ( Yeah, I know. Not the place to find a boyfriend, not as if I was looking though )
    But weird thing is, most of the staff was black. And lets face it. If you're black then there is no hope for you to becoming a friend of mine. I wasn't as bad as this forever. But there comes a point when you can't take any more bullshit from those inhabitant monkey and just begin hating them all.  But it's okay because not only are my friends like that also, but so is my family.
     Which brings me to a fact that sometimes I hate my family so bad, even when we haven't fought in almost forever. But trust me I am not saying anything about me complainning about us not fighting. I enjoy the quiet.
     Zack and I have been together for over a year and it's still feeling like a new relationship which is super werid because I've gone out with him three times before. I mean I'm not uncomfortable around him ( Though mind you, I refuse to fart infront of him ) Because he is very comfortable to be around no matter who you are. But like, Feelings wise. Like my feelings for him, the love I claim seems to be so new, yet I know it's not. It's couldn't possibly be new.
    The thing I hate most about our relationship is that we argue a lot, and we are like always " about to break up " But that's usually when I want to have fun with other peopl and want to be free to crush on someone and not feel guilty, even if I still crush on people.  There of course are two people that I think about other then Zachari. One is Charlie.
Charlie is that great looking, I mean he's good looking but I've seen better. Besides Zack is the hottest person ever. But Charlie just has something about him. He's nice and caring. and he's funny. But I surely do not like him talking about his eight inch cock all the time, and him telling me that he could turn me on like no other can. But he's still a really fun person to be around.
     So is Analyssia. One of my really good friends. She's so great to be with. And her body is amazing. I don't know if I'm jealous for her body or if I want her body. Both ways keep me liking her more and more. Though she flirts around way to much for my taste, Which really actually bugs me alot. Even though she isnt mine to have, I still like her alot.
     But I love Zack. Not no amount of crushes or how big there are will never take over my love for him. I always thought about how great it would be to fall in love and stay in love. And now that I've found out, I like it but i wished I would have found it later, Say senior year. I have fun with him but I would have just liked to have my high school years be what everyone says they would have been. But I guess everyones experiance is differnt.

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